By Alice Little for the ASN Lifestyle Magazine
Hello everyone. I'm Alice Little, a legal sex worker and educator, I'm here to answer the most common question on everyone's mind: how can I have safe sex during social distancing? Well, I have a lot of tips to increase the safety factor and the sexiness factor, no matter if you are in a relationship, single or even in self-isolation.
safety first.
The number one question on everyone's mind right now is how to have safe sex during a pandemic. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to do this if you're willing to get creative and try something new. But before we get started with how to navigate sex during social distancing, we need to talk about risk and responsibility.
The best information we currently have about COVID-19 is that it is not safe to be within two meters of another person. If you live with your partner or partners, you may decide to continue having sex with them, because who wants to abstain along with self-isolation during this strange and historic period? Keep in mind that if you are not practicing social distancing, you are putting yourself at risk from the virus. Even with masks, condoms, and other barriers to interaction, the virus is malignant. Scientists have found persistent traces of the coronavirus that last from a few hours to a few days (1), depending on the environment and the type of surface. That means sharing furniture could also mean sharing the coronavirus. So engaging in any form of in-person sex opens you up to a small risk of contracting the virus.
If you are a swinger or have other types of open relationships with more than one partner, you will have to register more than once. The wider your circle, the higher your risk of contracting coronavirus, although if everyone practices social distancing, the risk is still relatively low. Decide how to proceed based on your medical history, risk tolerance, and feedback from your partners.
The sad news is that currently, there is no foolproof way to ensure that having in-person sex and skin-to-skin contact is safe, that's the last of the bad news. The good news is that fun options for secluded sex abound.
Creating sexual closeness during the pandemic.
If you do not live with your partners and are forced to separate at this time, this is your opportunity to try some new and creative sexual options, consider your natural talents before deciding which one is right for you. If you're a heavy reader you might like sexting, if you're a closet flasher you might want to try having sex on camera.
How to start sexting.
If you've never had the opportunity to become an expert sexter, now is your chance to practice. Ask your partner if they are okay with explicit messages and then vent all those pent up sexual energies that have been weighing you down. If you feel nervous or uncomfortable, that's ok, they may not know what kind of sexual messages you like to send or receive until they do a test. Re-read your favorite sex chapters in the books, to try the nuance and descriptions you like, if you love open and direct sexuality you might want to get straight to the point, if you prefer metaphorical sex scenes and Inconspicuous from classic literature, that's also an option, give your partner hints so they don't accidentally discourage you in the process. The most important thing: take your time, if your work and your schedule allow it, dedicate the whole day so that no one is pressured and each text is carefully thought out.
How to try sex on video.
Now is the perfect opportunity to turn on the camera, choose a webcam setup that you trust. If you don't already own one, some are available on Amazon for cheap, even for less than $ 20. However, it may be worth your money to buy something with better video quality, especially if it's going to be used primarily for sexual purposes. Also make sure you have a microphone, as sound is a key component in the entire experience. Then, when you have plenty of time to explore sex on cam together, make a date.
Some people feel self-conscious in front of the camera, or are simply shy, and these feelings can increase during video sex. Whatever you do, don't go into «performance mode,» where your focus is on trying to be sexy instead of trying to connect. When you're performing, you're not experiencing, and that's less sexy for everyone involved. Sometimes it's helpful to mention that you feel nervous since your partner might be nervous too. But at the very least, you won't have the added pressure of trying not to act nervous while trying to enjoy video sex.
Don't worry about creating the perfect camera angle to look sexy in each scene, rather imagine yourself as an exhibitionist who is finally making her debut, take some time before the date to do what is necessary to get in the mood. Light candles, read something erotic, have a glass of champagne, or put on an outfit that makes you feel sexier.
When the time comes again, don't feel the need to be someone else. If you feel uncomfortable talking dirtier than usual, simply describe what you're feeling, or tell your partner what you've been fantasizing about doing to them in their absence. One of you could slowly undress and you can show the other a detailed masturbation session.
Try sex toys together.
Finally, if you have the economic possibility, there is no better time to invest in teledildonics (2). Teledildonic sex toys use technology to transmit sensations between two sex toys. It can make the sex you're having in the city (or the country!), feel practically real. If you're single, some of the toys can be synced with porn for an amazing solo experience.
Tips for conscious masturbation during the pandemic
Those without a partner may need something a little more during social distancing. Isolation is tough, spending extra time trying new masturbation techniques or finding a connection is vital to your mental health.
If you feel lonely, reach out to some webcam artists (cam girls for example) online. The brothels are closed for now, but that doesn't mean you can't support other sex workers in the meantime! Webcam artists are amazing at creating a fun and personalized experience for you.
Or try moving forward during masturbation. The limit is when you get close to the edge of orgasm and then take a short break. Not only can it help to improve the control of it, but it can also improve its quality!
And finally, delight in sexual self-care. Try different forms of porn, like audio or erotic porn, whatever sounds interesting to you and you haven't tried yet. Don't forget to take care of your pelvic floor, a firm pelvic floor can improve your sexual health and increase the intensity of your orgasms. No matter your gender identity, Kegel exercises are good for everyone! Try sensual stretching or self-massage, and alternate the rhythms and types of contact you use during masturbation. You finally have time to learn something new about yourself, so use it to your advantage.
Visit TheAliceLittle.com for more articles on sex work, sex education, and to find out why I'm the number one earning legal sex worker in America. Or contact me directly to book some of my time at [email protected].
References
1. «New coronavirus stable for hours on surfaces»
https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/new-coronavirus-stable-hours-surfaces
2. «Three Innovations in Sex Tech for Penis-Havers»
https://futureofsex.net/sex-tech/3-sex-tech-innovations-for-people-with-penises/
3. «Level up your sex life with some sensual stretches»
https://thealicelittle.com/advice/level-up-your-sex-life-with-some-sensual-stretching/
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